“THE RUGGED WAY TO THE CROSS” (from July 11, 2014)

I have not been able to write about the "Cruz de Ferro" (the Iron Cross) until now. It was such a profound experience for me that I had to let it settle in my heart and soul before I could put a spiritual experience into human terms. I still feel the inadequacy of words for the "language of God."

About 10 days from the end of our walk, we were due to hike to Cruz de Ferro just beyond Foncebadon.  I had been waiting with great excitement for this day.  

(Notice this is the highest point on the El Camino.)

Let me share a bit of history with you so you can feel the fuller account of our experience.

The Celts and the Romans often paid homage to their gods by creating piles of stones in the mountains.  This mound of stones was thought to be one such alter to the Roman god Mercury.  A medieval monk by the name of Gaucelmo, who had dedicated his life to taking care of the pilgrims on the Camino in this area, added the iron cross.  The tradition is to bring a stone to leave on the pile that symbolizes the weight of our burdens or our sins and laying them down or for some loving intention and prayer.

The Cruz de Ferro stands tall on a great hill of stones that pilgrims have been leaving there for hundreds of years.  The energy is fragile and echoes the sorrows that have been left at the base of that cross.  This isn’t a negative thing . . . it is a release . . . a liberation.  In this most high place, pilgrims over the centuries have born those heavy stones that represent the great burdens in their hearts and laid them down on that ever growing pile.

(CRUZ DE FERRO - A pagan monument was transformed by medieval monk, 

Gaucelmo, to a Christian place of release and rebirth).

But first, lets go back a couple of days . . . 

June 9, 2014

We left the San Antonio Albergue and were feeling pretty chipper.  The blisters were treated and in submission for now.

(ALBERGUE SAN ANTONIO - A high point in our places to sleep and eat.)

I thought of the many opportunities along the Camino to commune spiritually.  Many crosses dot “The Way” offering a place of solace and prayer.  It always lifted my heart to see one, no matter the size or material.  They sanctified the ground on which they stood.  Below are several crosses that marked the country side with love and hope.

(Some, so very plain and simple) 

(Others more elaborate)

(Many were tributes to people whose last act was to walk the Camino.)

(Crosses were created by the pilgrims in fences along “The Way.”)

(Izabela left a prayer for her father at one of these memorials.)

(There were crosses in every village.)

(This one touched me very deeply along one of the most difficult climbs

on the way to Santo Toribio.)

(Also, up there is a huge Prayer Labyrinth.  Izabela and I took the time 

to peacefully walk through it, leaving there our prayers of hope.)

(Overlooking Astorga is this beautiful cross.  )

A gentle man, Joseph, voluntarily tends the garden here and tells us to “be happy” because that is the most important thing in life.

(One cross served as a marker.)

This whole day was full of thoughts about this prayerful path of crosses. It was along this rocky road that we met David whom I talked about earlier with his fruit stand to share sustenance with pilgrims.  He was one of the most pure hearted people I have ever met.  The energy emanated from David in a soft glow of love.  All of this was preparing my heart for the Cruz de Ferro.  I hobbled on into Santo Toribio happy that the blisters hadn’t won the day!

June 10, 2014    

We awoke to a quirky day.  The hotel didn’t open, and they had Izabela’s laundry.  We chose to get breakfast down the street hoping her laundry would appear afterwards.  After another “operation,” the blisters were behaving.  So picking up the laundry, we made our way to Astorga.  It is a place of great beauty on a mountain top (of course).  The Gypsies were in town for a market and we were warned to watch our purses.  We were too happy to worry about such things and as we came to the next little village, we could see the white cap mountains.  

(The white cape mountains in the distance appeared cool and inviting.)

Actually, we saw a Cowboy Bar, but even for this “redneck,” it was a “leetle” too rugged.  

(Looked like the Wild West in Spain.)

June 11, 2014

I opened my eyes at 6:00 a.m. with a single-minded purpose . . .  “Get to the Iron Cross.”  I felt a calm happiness deep down inside me.  This was something I had prepared for for over 1 1/2 years by choosing the stone in South Africa for this very day.  Everything was fine until the fence of crosses; then it was rocks all over again!

(The rugged road of rocks.)  

This certainly awakened the blisters; my feet were raw and burned with a raging fire.  Every step was a tribute to pain.  It was probably my most miserable day, yet it was totally enveloped in joy.  The hill to the Cross was long, hard and full of caverns that had been filled in with rocks.  Let me tell you, that “took the starch right out of my britches!”  I was finally down to scooting one foot in front of the other for an interminable rugged distance and at my “double, grandma low” speed, it felt like it went on forever! 

(Navigating my way through the field of rocks.)

Let me qualify something here . . .  In my daily life, for over 20 years, my feet have been a constant source of pain.  It is something I have learned to live with.  The bunions, sharp shooting pains, tender to walk and a burning sensation with some feelings of numbness . . . not a pretty picture.  This was my second greatest concern about the walk (the first being getting lost).  I don’t want to give the wrong impression about the Camino Trail.  Though it is rough, blisters are common and there is danger of twisted ankles, and inflamed knees.  Izabela did not have any of these difficulties!  She only occasionally had sore heels and fatigue in her feet. 

Izabela and I went through every terrain . . . 

(Some wooded areas) 

(Uphill and down)

 (Rocks and more rocks!)

(And then we were there!)  

My heart trembled with emotion.  I clutched my quartz stone.  It felt electric to my touch.  I breathed a prayer, and forgetting my feet, climbed to the top of the mound of rocks.  The Cross is mounted on a tall wooden pole and elegantly rose to the heavens.  The energy filled my spirit and spoke of the sacredness of this moment.  Standing on that mound of rocks, I realized, I was standing on the hopes, the forgiveness, the liberation of so many burdens pilgrims over centuries had left here.  It was an ineffably holy moment.  There were photos, trinkets, memorabilia that people have placed there for their own purposes.  It all stood as a secret healing for the many souls who arrived with burdens too big to name and who left light and free.  Tears rolled down my cheeks and with a shaking hand, I took out my rock and said a prayer for all the African children our Helping Hands Charity seeks to help.  I laid their hopes and dreams at the base of the Cross.  The awesome depth of this responsibility at first seemed to weigh me down but slowly lifted as I prayed.  By the time my rock settled on the pile of all the others, a sense of peace washed over me, and I felt the assurance that I was guided into doing exactly what I should be doing with my life at this moment.  I was “following the star placed in my heart since birth.”  It was an incredible and clear message for me-one of reinforcement and a letting go of doubts.  

(I left MY doubts and fears on that mountain of burdens-- doubts and fears preserved over the centuries.  Mine now rested comfortably on that heap . . . outside of me.)

This is not an especially beautiful monument.  It is the energy of all it represents that is hushed and awesome. The words to the Hymn “Old Rugged Cross” came to mind . . .  “Oh that old rugged cross, so despised by the world; has a wondrous attraction for me.”  And it was a magnetic attraction to me.  It really isn’t possible to describe something so much bigger than ourselves.  This was the high point of my transformative experience.  

There were so many magical times on the Camino.  Times of spell binding beauty.  And that took away all feelings of the harsh ruggedness of the trail;  the vivid pain dialed down to a murmuring shadow.  It is too pale to describe the feelings (the beauty, new hope, the joy of doing what God ordained at my birth to do) with frail words.

The “lost language of God” I am told is expressed in feelings . . . as if your prayers were already answered and you experience the feelings you would have in those answered prayers.  This was one of those experiences.  One moment on the Mesita actually expresses it in an image . . . the joy and serenity I felt . . . the overwhelming beauty in a slice of life, and the harmony of a world in total sync.

(God’s world bursting with beauty and wonder.  Everything conspired 

to create the mystery of life for me.  My joy was complete.)

Yes, I will say it . . . “I FOUND WHAT I WAS YEARNING FOR.”

Until next time, with love, 

Sidney

(And, Yes, there is more.  The wonder keeps unfolding).

Below, I am recommending two books for your enlightenment.  The authors are both friends of mine, so I know them well, and I know their values.  Both books have deep and meaningful lessons and are page turners.

Seated At The Masters Table, by Angela Threlkeld Dodd.  This book and ebook can be found on Amazon.com, and on Barnes and Nobles.

Tough Lessons - The Dark Side of Success, by John Borbi.  His web site is www.toughlessons.com.

"THE DEEP RICHNESS OF HISTORY AND THE SIMPLICITY OF NOW" (from June 28, 2014)

While walking around Santiago, Izabela ran into one of our trail buddies who very excitedly showed us her Compostela from the San Francisco Monastery.  The Monk, Saint Francis, walked the El Camino Trail 800 years ago and to commemorate that, the Monastery issues a Compostela (certificate of recognition and proof that the walk was done) every 100 years and this was the year. 

(San Francisco Monastery is not too far from the Cathedral 

 and silently invites the Pilgrims, "Come In.")

Izabela and I sought the Monastery out and went inside this sacred space to investigate.  The beauty and grandeur within takes your breath away.  What looks ordinary on the outside, is actually the holder of great history and spiritual beauty.  The Door opens to a surprising display of art and, sculpture and architecture that lifts us to a high place.

.

We entered a small door off the right of the main alter.  There sat two monks in a dim lighted area quietly waiting to honor our 500 Mile Walk.One was younger and wore a wool shawl against the dank cold, the other was older and complained that the Peregrinos were not donating enough for receiving their Compostela.  Still, there was a quiet air of dignity;  Izabela and I approached with our filled out passports to receive this special certificate.

To receive something that is only issued every 100 years was an honor.  Izabela wanted to be sure of the correct spelling of her name and I wanted to have both my family name (Randolph) and married name (Bonvallet) on this Compostela.  It is hard to explain this deep feeling connected with 800 years of history.

Walking along the El Camino, we were aware that we were actually following in the footsteps of the Apostle James.  That is heavy and awesome stuff.  Millions of pilgrims have walked on that path, over those same rocks . . .   We were part of that history now.

(Compostela issued every 100 years.)

With our certificates in hand, Izabela and I made our way back to the Cathedral for a meeting with a few of our friends that had gotten in the same day as we did.  We planned a farewell dinner and celebration of our completion.

L to R John Goble, Vanessa Johnston, Sidney, Izabela, Alexa, Maria, not shown:  Joan and Mary.

It was a glorious reunion . . .  We had all accomplished our 500 Mile Goal.  Happy as it was, there was the sweet sorrow of saying "goodbye."  But we decided to live "in the moment," and all responded to the question, "What had we gained . . .  What had we learned for ourselves . . .  What would we take home with us."  The answers were thoughtful and heartfelt.  Below is a brief summary of our responses:

John: To bring home the joyful anticipation of seeing something beautiful afar off (like the mountains) and knowing that by continuing on his path he would reach them.  So he wants that joy, without judgement.

Vanessa: To simplify my life and to accept who I really am . . .  and to live that truth.  To be in the present and not have expectations so I can enjoy "what is."

Sidney: To express my appreciation for the loyal and enduring love I receive from Wayne.  To simplify my surroundings to unclutter my mind.  Serve in our Villages with the sure knowledge we are doing what God has assigned us to do.  And to continue this closer intimacy with God.

Izabela: To say "yes," then figure out "how."  I don't have to do everything FAST . . .  Slow it down and adjust my tempo.  I will still get to the finish.  Letting go of control and trusting myself.

Alexa: To reclaim my power and grow the  confidence I've gained by walking the Camino.  Stand my ground and be strong for myself.

Maria: To have self love and also to allow the confidence I've gained to grow.  Have an appreciation for the people I meet.

Joan (not shown) To plant a garden.  All the gardens we saw spoke of a simple life of beauty.  Live more simply knowing I don't need so much.  I want to live in gratitude for what I have.

Mary (not shown) To be more open to relationships.  Consider letting a man in my life.  No rush... just consider it.  Also to be more open to my family.

SIMPLICITY WAS THE WINNER IN EVERYONE'S HEART.  The Camino taught us we carry too much "stuff," think we need so much more than we really do.  Living more simply is liberating and frees up energy for the more important things in life.

Until next time, with love,  

Sidney

"SACRED TRADITIONS TO MOVE THE SOUL" (from 6/25/2014)

Entering Santiago, triumphant that we had just walked 500 miles across northern Spain, is not the end of the story.  It seems the experience must "unfold" slowly even in its ending.  To become the reality of 6 weeks walking about 15 miles a day, little events have to unfurl like rose petals, revealing many smaller beautiful parts.

So many "unfinished" stories need the witness of their ultimate completion.  Did Deideia ever get past O Cebreiro?  Were Sharon and Linda from South Africa still in the game?  What about Alexa and Maria, our little Angels of Mercy?  Where were John and Vanessa?  Did our Alex with the flat feet make it in?  How about Pat?  Would we see our precious Texans again?  And what ever happened to the man from Senegal who thought he'd have to quit because he had giant blisters on the bottom of both feet?  Did Dane the cellist finish?  IS THIS IT with the Compostela, or is something unique trying to happen?

(In the square again to see if it was all real.)  

So, Izabela and I had our moment of glory and celebration.  And with it came this great release and laying down of our burdens.  We did not have to walk tomorrow.  We were free to bring form and meaning to the El Camino for ourselves.   Going back to the Cathedral did just that because we saw many of the friends we had made in the beginning of our Camino.  It was a joyous reunion.  Look closely at the lady in the purple shirt on the right.  That is Kristina Stamler.

Now that we are on the Cathedral Square, let's talk about some interesting history. 

(The cathedral)

The Cathedral stands stalwart in its grandeur for the weary Pilgrim.  With all the struggles 

and danger the Pilgrim faced, this buoyed up their spirit and filled them with a mystery larger than themselves.  They found sanctuary for their weary soul and experienced an overwhelming awe that made the whole thing worthwhile. 

Let me share how one holy tradition just might have started.
 
Back in days of old, people did not bathe every day.  Actually, back then, people only bathed once a year for the most part.  You can imagine the smell in a crowded Church on a hot day.  The Monks started swinging an incense burner to cover up the stench from all the ripening bodies.  Gradually, even though people started practicing better hygiene, the swinging incense burner (censer) morphed into the tradition of purifying the worshipers and making them feel Holy.  I am very glad this all happened because of what we got to witness when the Mass was dedicated especially to us Pilgrims. Watch these brief videos and photos to taste a little part of the spiritual beauty we experienced.

(The sweetness of the singing and the pageantry of the entering procession.)

(A Monk lights the incense in the censer preparing us for a holy cleansing)

(The burning censer is raised.)

(Monks position themselves and take a rope.  They start the swinging of this great censer with incense smoke beginning to billow out . . .  it is an awe inspiring ritual.  They must carefully coordinate their ropes to lift the censer above the alter with each revolution).  

(The censer starts a slow rhythmic swing . . .  It picks up speed as the Monks pull the ropes in perfect tandem . . .   It literally causes us to gasp as this giant burning censer swings down, swoops past us, then swooshes high above us.  It is an awesome and holy moment!)

(Angelic voices sing of higher things and the drama is complete in its transformation.)

It felt as if gates that had been tightly closed swung open with an amazing "Welcome Home" sensation filling my soul.  I am humbled by the sanctity in my heart.  I am grateful for such a glorious completion.

There is more to come, with love,

Sidney/Mom/Grandma

"ON THE WAY TO SANTIAGO" (from 6/21/2014)

We are on the "countdown" now.

(The last morning)

Izabela leading the way.  We hadn't yet reached the woods, so we were brave.

(The dark woods)

This is the 16.9 kilometer marker. Still feeling strong. 

(16.9 km to go)

Light began to appear through the trees, and we didn't feel so alone.  

(The light on the path)

The sunrise was worth waiting for. 

(God's gracious gift)

(The way of Saint James)

The graffiti got more philosophical. 

(El Camino graffiti)

Izabela and I are in Santiago!  We can see the awesome cathedral in the distance, but it is still far away.  And I know I can't make it without nourishment. 

(Almost, but not quite.)

Had a doughnut and a coca cola.  We are quite emotional!  We are in Santiago de Compostela!!! We have walked the 500 miles!!!  We are overwhelmed!  Now we must walk the final steps to get our
Compostela.  The feelings are so strong, and they are all trying to tumble out at the same time. 

(A welcome snack)

The walk to the Cathedral was long . . .  And we were tired from the 4:30 am wake-up.  But
WE MADE IT!!!  We cried, laughed, were introspective, felt joy and sorrow.  The feelings really were too big to hold them.  Tears continue to flow even as I write this.  It seems we started this journey so long ago and in a far away place.   Here, I asked Izabela how she felt . . . 

(Izabela at the end of the journey)

Then, I tried to express my feelings, but the enormity of them overpowered me.  I still haven't sorted them all out yet.  

(Sidney at the end of the journey)

Izabela and I had a little victory celebration and then had to go to the Pilgrim's Office to apply
for our Compostela (the certificate showing we had finished). 

(Celebrate!)

Izabela and I had to find the Pilgrim's Office ( more walking on poor, busted feet).  Many of our Camino friends were in the line, too.  We often marveled at how the timing kept bringing us into each other's space all along the Camino. 

(Camino friends)

Juan asked us all the questions, examined our Camino Passports, and he issued the regular Compostela and the one that showed how far we walked.  I didn't want one inch taken off. 

(It's official!)

With Compostela in hand we went in search of our hotel.  Wayne insisted on putting us up in one where we could be a little more comfortable.

That is when we ran into our Texas boys again.  And guess what they had found?!  That's right,
Burger King.  My mouth watered for one. 

So Izabela and I reached our final destination.  I couldn't have had a  better partner.  We learned so much from this experience and want to share more later.  I still have a piece to write about the Cruz Ferro . . .  For now, we just wanted to let you know that we are here!!!  It was one heck of a ride. Your prayers and encouragement lifted us up and carried us across the Finish Line.   Please let us hear from you now.  You can contact me direct on email sid4wayne@gmail.com and contact Izabela on izabela.jaworska@yahoo.com.

Until next time, with love, 

Sidney/Mom/Grandma

"COUNTDOWN!" ONLY 11 MORE MILES TO GO!!!! (from 6/20/2014)

(Sidney checks out kilometers to Santiago.) 

We will March into Santiago on Saturday and go listen to our Cellist friend, Dane Johansen, play at the great Cathedral in Santiago.  Izabela and I are overwhelmed with so many mixed emotions.  We laugh, cry and get weepy all over again.  It is going to be very hard to be through but at the same time, thrilling because we have completed it.  So many vivid memories.

Just for laughs, watch the next three videos.

For the first video, you must go to the following Link

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=893384117345725

( This  is officially the "Llama Hop."  Keep it in mind when you watch the next video). 

(Izabela, my energizer "Llama" on steroids.  

We were laughing about the Llama Hop when she decided to try it . . .  

With her backpack on!)

(Meanwhile, I am on so much pain, I can barely put one hurting foot in front of the other.)

"TODAY WAS ALL ABOUT MAKING THE MILES"

(Vanessa and John caught up with us AGAIN!  We had a great visit and made plans to meet Sunday on the steps of Santiago Cathedral on Sunday night.   Don't have photo, but we also ran into Jan from Germany, then Sharon and Linda from South Africa.  They all agreed to meet too). 

(We had to travel a lot in the "Black Forest" today 

with a storm threatening, which never occurred).

(Then we had to descend into the pit. 

For all the altitude we clambered up, we knew we had to come down that same amount. 

Such was the "see a day and we didn't get to our room until 7:00 pm). 

(The graffiti can move us to tears.  This one really catches the heart and soul of the Camino). 

("El Dolor es auto temporalLa Gloria es para siempre!)

My friends Marco and Regi need to translate this.  But loosely, it means:  Sadness is only temporary, but, Joy (or Glory) is forever!!

I want to revisit my precious Texas A & M Group. They impress me at so many levels. I call this small story:  

"WHEN COMPASSION COLLIDES WITH LOVE"

I told you a little about their interaction with Deideia.  This next piece is best told with photos.  My new, wonderful friend, Alexa Gordon is a professional journalist in Australia.  She graciously agreed to let me share these photos with you. Alexa masterfully captured the human spirit in her work.  But, let me get right to the story. 

These young people have totally won my heart.  I will put my faith and money on them any day, their hearts are so big,  they have a "can do" spirit and their attitude is "IT SHALL BE DONE!!

Deideia came to a stand still.  He could not push his own chair over the rocks.  The Texans were deciding how to help him.

(David [off screen], Cameran , and Scott make a plan and decide 

how to get Deideia over the rocks.  Maria looks on as Alexa takes the photos). 

(Chelsea leads the way as the girls took on the task of carrying the guy's backpacks. 

That meant they were carrying over 44 pounds each!)

(Scott holds Deideia in place [there is no back on his special chair]

while Cameran attaches the rope system). 

(David and Cameran pull the ropes while Scott holds onto Deideia and pushes). 

(Ultimately, the Texans had to lift the chair with Deideia in it 

 over the rocks to the top of the hill). 

This gives me such pride and hope in our younger generation 

I feel privileged to know these exceptional young people. 

Until next time, with love, 

Sidney